Love is a Choice

Well,  I  have been married to my wonderful husband 34 years. I can hardly believe it ,but can still remember that evening very well. The most astounding part to me is that, as excited and in love I was at that time it just doesn't compare to the love and excitement we now share as a couple. A good marriage truly does get better with time. Has our marriage always been perfect, by no means. A good marriage takes work, forgiveness, grace, unconditional love and most of all ,an attitude of unselfishness! Yes, I do believe when you commit to a spouse it should be with the mindset that this is a covenant with the Lord until death do us part. Only under circumstances out of our control should divorce ever be an option and even then I truly believe Gods heart is to ultimately seek restoration if possible. To receive the rewards of a long and strong marriage you have to faithfully pray and seek the Lord daily. Our marriage is by no means perfect but we do serve a perfect God who created marriage to be the perfect picture of his love for his bride ,the church, and his commitment to her.

Marriage is Gods way of preparing us for eternity. How exciting to be apart of something so much bigger than we are. So thankful that we are all apart of His master plan. We "choose" to make our marriages work. And it is work wouldn't you agree! Our initial "In Love" feelings are not always there or may have been lost for some time. Our marriage is a testimony of this, during the childrearing years our relationship struggled, and I turned 30, the midlife crisis age for most women.  I was up to my ears in diapers and sleepless nights and my hard working husband was gone many nights. "This isn't how it supposed to be, what happened to my storybook marriage". I often felt distant and very tired! I cried out to the Lord and looked to his word for wisdom.  In bible times, marriages were arranged (Don't think that is such a bad idea these days:), There was no time to "Fall in love". They were just married and that was that. After reading these stories over and over ,I realized something, love was a CHOICE! They choose to obey God and the covenant of marriage He had placed them in. And guess what? The feelings followed. This was a revelation in my marriage, and once I committed to making that choice daily, things began to change . You see, my attitude and choice to love changed me and that changed everything. Ladies whether we like it or not we set the tone of the home. Our speech ,emotions and body language,  are key the second our husbands walk in the door. My choice to love ,followed by a lot of prayer and bible study each day, made all the difference. Side note: if you want your husband to change, pray that the Lord will change you first.
It doesn't happen over night but I promise the Lord will bless your "Choice".

No greater JOY!

I recently experienced the birth of our new precious granddaughter. As the grandmother, of now 2 grandchildren, I can honestly say they do CHANGE your life! It is hard to explain the emotions you experience as you watch this precious new life come into this world. I must say I watched in awe as my daughter gave birth and the miracle of it all. The pain of labor on her face, and then the joy as she held her child for the first time. As a mother it is so precious to watch your own daughter experience this life changing event. This is truly a season of life to treasure. I am so grateful to the Lord for how he fills our empty nest with the gift of grandchildren. There is truly no greater JOY!

Turning 50

I love this time of year and all it brings. Cool air, flowers in bloom, birds singing and just an overall "newness of life" feeling. I'm reminded each spring even more of what it means to be
a NEW creature in Christ. My father always reminds me when I speak of getting older, that even though our outward body is wasting away, spiritually we are becoming younger each day. This thought of getting older is presently a fresh thought in my mind as I will be turning 50 next week. I don't feel that old except after I have worked all day on my feet ,drive 50 minutes home and then after sitting in the car, can hardly get out. Yes, my physical bones are decaying I can feel it!
How then shall we live? What should be our primary focus? Exercise and eating right are good things to preserve our physical body but what about our spiritual one? We our preparing our spiritual body for eternity each and every day as we spend time in His word and prayer. I pray you are seeking this renewal in your spiritual walk with our Savior! The bible says "Lest we become childlike in our faith, we will not inherit the kingdom of God." This childlike faith comes as we grow more into His likeness. So even though this earthy shell of ours is dying each day our spiritual body is becoming younger and younger. Isn't that an exciting thought! As His children He is getting us ready for a NEW LIFE with Him for eternity! Im sure looking forward to that
"BIRTH DAY!

The Road of Loneliness

Have you ever been in a crowded room and still felt all alone. What about in your own church with brothers and sisters in Christ who smile and say a casual hello ,but fail to take interest in or invest in the lives of others who so desire fellowship with other believers. So many times we think of being lonely as physically being alone, total quite and solitude, but this is not the kind of loneliness I am referring too. Just some examples: A workplace where values and convictions differ can bring about feelings of loneliness. A wife who longs to share spiritual intimacy with her mate. A group of women who all work outside the home and you are stay at home mom. Just to name a few, each of these scenarios, can result in feeling alone.
It is always easier to take the road of blending in, just to feel accepted and apart. Living a set apart life for Christ is not always a comfortable and cozy place to be. I have often felt lonely for not being one to partake in gossip involving other women. When you are not a gossiper you are left out of many a female conversation , sadly to say. As I was thinking about this topic , I was reminded of how lonely our Savior must have felt at times in living such a "set apart" lifestyle . Christ was so criticized, judged and rejected by his own, so called peers, the Pharisees. These were men who were considered the most "religious" people of that time. I use the word "religious" loosely since religion does not always involve a relationship with a living Savior. In the Pharisees case, they had the head knowledge followed by rules and regulations without an evident heart and life change. They were truly lost in need of a savior. Christ continued to take the narrow road less traveled because he could see the prize at the end. The bible says we are in a race as believers. Most runners run alone and keep their eyes on the goal, which is to finish the race. For us as wives and mothers there can be many distractions, how we spend our time being the biggest one. For example; shopping, tv, vacation planning , make-up and clothing , all so called "good" things but may not always be the "wise" thing. We can with Lords help, keep our focus on the goal of the upward calling of Christ Jesus. A good question to always ask ourselves is; " Will this activity bring Glory to God and or is it something that will help further His kingdom here on earth?" Try not shopping for a few weeks ,except for necessities, and you will be amazed at the time you now have available to focus on things of eternal value. It can be life changing if you are willing to give up such earthly pleasures. Our time is short and the road can be lonely but we as women , lonely or not , must run to the finish line to the hear the words ; "Well done my good and faithful daughter, you have finished well." Oh, how I pray to hear those words spoken of my life and my prayer is that you do as well.

Oh Those Winter Days

I have to say that even though I like cold weather,hot chocolate, warms fires and blankets, I"m very much a Florida sunshine girl. After a while it becomes somewhat depressing to me and I am ready for spring and summer. What I am getting at is that seasons and weather do very much affect our emotions and state of being, not so much as a child maybe, but as an adult very much so. I start to feel like I am hibernating some days and begin to miss the day to day contact with others. SO...... my solution to fighting these emotions you ask? Well, I begin by asking the Lord to show me others that may be in the same type of situation whether it be elderly that are housebound or sick friends or just someone who may be feeling likewise, and you know what He always does. I always remember a pastor who once said; "When you start to feel down focus on what you can do for others" I have never forgotten that over the years and thus have tried to take my focus off myself and in turn focus on the needs of others. So, if you are feeling somewhat "down" on these long winter days "get out and reach out" and all of that will change. The Lord is the author and creator of our well being and emotions and that is why He tells us to "Love our neighbor as our self", feed the hungry, care for the needy, not just because they need it but how much we need it also. I challenge you today that whatever state of being you are in to reach out to a lonely and hurting world, it is all around us if we will just take our eyes off ourselves and pray that we view the world around us through Christs eyes. "By this they will know that you are my disciples if you love one another". Thank you Lord that you always have our best interest in mind if we will just heed your WORD!

Holidays and Family

With the Holidays around the corner comes time with family. I love that the Holidays bring family together, especially when they live distances apart, and it is the only time throughout the year that you get to see certain family members. As wonderful as the Holidays are ,it doesn't come without tension,disappointment and stress. We have the best intentions , we have high expectations of everything going perfectly as planned with everyone smiling and getting along as though not a care in the world exists. But in reality we all know that this is not possible. Since Adam and Eve we have lived in a fallen world where sin lives within each and every one of us. As hard as we try, because of this sin, not even the best of families are exempt from things going array. I personally believe that family gatherings and holidays are Gods way of building character within each of us if we allow it! They are a gentle reminder that no mater how much you love your family they will fail you. Plans will fail, hurt feelings arise and expectations are shattered. Does this mean we are to dread the time with family and Holidays in general. Most definitely not! I can honestly tell you though, that I was at a place where I did until the Lord revealed a great truth to me. It was not audible but I knew it was for me. " As long as we live in a fallen and imperfect world with imperfect people forgiveness must be forefront on your heart or you will be miserable and live in a state of disappointment always especially around the holidays." Since the Lord revealed this truth to me I have had such freedom and joy during this time of year. Yes it still hurts and there are floods of emotions when family members say and do things that don't go as planned, but remember they are not our plans to begin with, they are the Lords if we have given them to Him in the first place. When we give our loved ones and plans to Him there is a sweet release that He is in control and all things will work for our good. Remember high expectations of others is always a dangerous thing.
None of us are above sin ,and where people exist so does hurt and disappointment, even with those we love the most. I guess the message I am trying to get across is "Commit your ways unto the Lord and your plans will be established" Pray and remain in an attitude of forgiveness of those around you, most importantly your family. As wives and mothers we must remember that we set the tone , so it is crucial that we seek the Lord daily and respond in Christlike character during these times. Our children will follow our example. Remember what comes out of the mouth is an indicator of what is in the heart! Look forward to this time of year, embrace it ,plan and prepare fun activities with family, make the effort to seek restoration in broken relationships. This is God's design and will ,that we love, forgive and receive one another, faults and all because HE so loved and forgave and receives us just as we are! Have a Blessed Christmas celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

Grace so Amazing

Well I have been absent for awhile and I apologize. As you all know we go through many different seasons in our lives. I have been in a "Menopausal season". Well to say the least it is not an easy road. I have my up days and down days but for the most part it is an emotional roller coaster for me. I keep wanting to just get through it and just be over it altogether. The Lord continues to remind me that His grace is sufficient each day. He has showed me that like any season of life we need to embrace it and allow Him to do His refining work in our life through whatever it is we are going through. I must say that it is not as easy as it sounds. Only by His grace am I able to trust Him in every area of my life so why should this be any different.
I want to encourage you my sister in the Lord that whatever season of life you are in, the Lord is with you. Christ understands all and will provide the grace we need.
May we desire only, in all ,to be more and more conformed to His image! This is the GOAL!

Blessed are thou, O child of God, who sufferest
And canst not understand
The reason for thy pain, yet gladly leavest
Thy life in His blest Hand.
Yea, blessed art thou whose faith is "not offended"
By trials unexplained,
By mysteries unsolved,past understanding,
Until the GOAL is gained!

By Freda Hanbury Allen