" Oh Mom, not chores again"

I cant stress enough the importance of teaching your children good work ethics at an early age. As early as they can bend over and pick up a toy you can start training them to put it away.
This begins to teach them responsibility for their actions also. "If you take it out, you can put it away" If we make a mess we can clean it up" This is where the real training begins, not just telling them but training, showing,teaching them how by instructing them step by step until they master the skill. I think so many times children become so frustrated when we as parents "bark out" commands and expect things to be done "just so" without the proper instruction. Remember they are in training so we can't expect them to do it just like we would. It takes time, patience and practice. Practice doesn't make perfect,practice makes progress. We are doing our children a grave injustice when we do not teach them the "how too's" of everyday life skills. You can begin by typing out their daily chores based on age and ability and then put it in a place that is visible for them. It really worked well in our house when dad got involved and wrote out the chores. Something about answering to dad always makes them work a little harder. Children truly do want to please. Whether we believe it or not they do desire structure, organization and boundaries to live by. It is security for them followed by consistency that produces the desired results.
The KEY is that we are fair in our expectations. Don't forget to encourage and praise them as they make progress in mastering each required task. It may be as small as putting a book away or making their bed, whatever it is ,they need to be corrected if need be but always praised for a job well done. This doesn't always have to be verbal, you can leave a note under their pillow or in their lunch box. You will be amazed at how this kind of encouragment will change a childs attitude towards work. All because we as parents take the time to notice and make a big deal of their accomplishments. I also would encourage siblings to offer help when needed and recognize each others efforts by speaking words of kindness. This will build strong relationships between them that will carry over for a lifetime. Remember as parents we are in the "TRAINING BUSINESS". There is no greater job on earth whereby we can watch a life change before our eyes ,knowing that we had a part in shaping this once young child into a responsible, hard working adult that will always be able to take care not only of himself but also have the skills to independently provide and care for his own family in years to come. What a priceless gift we can give our children if we just take the TIME!

"Character" Is it caught or taught and whose job is it anyway?

Well, It is that time of year again where all school age children will start back to school soon.
For many stay at home mothers it is a welcomed relief from having their children underfoot day in and day out. For others it is back to a more structured routine of chores and schoolwork. Summer days are fun but everyone will agree that order and routine are a healthy and welcomed reality. I am a homeschool mom and have chosen to school all of my children through High School. I have 1 left and can then retire after 26 years. It has been quite a journey along the way with ups and downs but through it all I would not take anything for being the primary influence in my children's lives. Whether or not you homeschool we as moms are called to be the primary influential person in our children's lives. Yes, reading ,writing and arithmetic are important but not as important as teaching a child character. This is something that is our responsibility as parents to instill in our children. It begins in the home with loving and nurturing parents that take the time to TEACH what it means to be, truthful, honest, obedient, hardworking, kind,selfless. patient, and the list goes on.
It is a purposeful effort on our part to teach and live these qualities out in front of them each day.
A good place to start is Gods word. Through parables and characters in the Bible you can teach your children how to live a life of integrity and moral conviction. To me this is what truly successful parenting is, not what grades they make in school or how well they preform in a sport. These are all well and good but it is the heart that really measures a successful life in the eyes of God. What comes from a childs heart will overflow into all the other areas of their life. This is just another confirmation of how important it is that this is taught in the home and not expected from teachers and youth and children workers.
I pray this will be a challenge to each of us this coming year as we seek to" Train up our children in the way they should go." I encourage you to seek out resources and plan time in your day to day lives to make this a priority. Men and women of good and Godly character will have world changing influence for generations to come! This is my prayer for my children I pray it is yours.

Ps If you go on the link to the left of my blog and click on the Duggar family. She has a great Character teaching chart you can use with your children. There are also great resources at Lifeway and Family Christain bookstores.

PSS. Check out my daughters blog and pray that these children will be taken into loving and caring familes. http://www.chadamberandjames.blogspot.com/

Being Kind "What it really means"

I want to first begin with the definition of "Kindness: The joy of meeting someone else's needs before your own simply for the sake of the relationship." In these busy days and "Its all about me attitudes" even we as Christan's are guilty of not being kind. This tarnishes our witness for the Lord and can sometimes prevent us from ever being able to share Christ with an individual. Kindness is a heart matter and a choice. If we are going to become truly kind people ,we need to have a change of attitude. The false self of self centered living says" I'll be kind to you if you will be kind to me." The true self of authentic love says, " I'll be kind to you regardless of how you treat me." How do we experience a change of attitude so that we are inclined to be kind to others even when they are strangers or when we know them well and they treat us harshly? First we must realize that "kindness changes people" ,it softens a hard heart and tares down walls of hurt and despair. We need to express kindness as a way of life. Picture yourself putting on your coat of kindness each day. When we wear kindness as a part of our clothing, we don't stop to think about whether we should be kind in a certain situation. Wherever we go kindness is our constant companion. Pray that you will touch others with acts of kindness each and every day, expecting nothing in return. Be on mission and ask the Lord to show you specific people in your life that need a touch of kindness. We have countless opportunities to show kindness everyday, on the phone, at the drivethru, waiting in line and in your own home.
Make a point to do some specific out of the ordinary acts of kindness towards your husband ,children, neighbors and yes even your enemies. If acting kindly does not come natural to you it doesn't mean you are an unkind person it just means you need more practice. Be aware of the importance of your words. My mom always said "If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all" There is a lot of wisdom in that saying. Do your words reflect a kind heart? Be quick to ask forgiveness for unkind words and pray that the Lord will fill you with kind and encouraging words for others. Kindness generates kindness. When we make kindness an intentional habit, we are more likely to see the worth and value of each person. As our new vision of people clarifies, we want to be kind simply because every person we meet has value and is worthy of affirmation. "Use me Lord to further your kingdom through my acts of kindness towards others." "Be ye kind one to another" Eph. 4:32

Marriage "Is it worth the effort?"

As of August 2nd I have been married 29 years to the love of my life. I have to tell you that it has not always been easy or fun but YES it has been worth it. My heart is so heavy today as so many couples are giving up on the most precious relationship outside of that with Jesus Christ. I do realize that there are exceptions but 98% of the time we just quit making the effort. How can we encourage our sisters in Christ to not give up just because they think it will be easier or greener on the other side. First they must see it lived out in our marriage relationships, the good, the bad and the truth. So many times women see other couples as having it all together and perfect. We each know that is far from the truth. We need to be transparent and open about the struggles we each face in our own lives. We need to pray with each other and commit to mentor the younger women as Gods word calls us to in Titus 2. Most importantly we have to be at a place in our Christan walk where we can empathize with and receive one another just as we are without judgement and condemnation. WOW, just think how powerful this could be in saving our Godly homes that the devil is so determined to destroy. Pray with me that the Lord will bring revival in this area and women will see the JOY of having the marriage that God so desires for them. It is work, hard work. It is allowing love to overlook faults. It is realizing that it is not about me but about us. It is serving.It is choosing to love not based on emotion but commitment to a lifelong journey that will bring honor and glory to our Lord! Is it worth the effort? After 29 years and looking forward to 29+ more, YES it is! It keeps getting better and better with each and every passing year! It is a choice. I pray it is your choice too!

Relationships that Bring God Glory

Relationships with others are the most precious thing we posses this side of heaven.
Of course our number one and most important relationship is with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Our first priority is to spend time with our Lord in prayer and the reading and studying of His word. This is so important because every other relationship we have here on earth stems from our relationship with our Lord. How do we keep these earthy relationships with family,friends and co-workers healthy? Well, first and foremost you most resolve in your heart that it takes WORK and a positive attitude. The Lord desires that we treat everyone with kindness,love and respect. Yes, even if they are unloving,unkind and hurtful we are to love them! We can only do that by allowing the love of Christ to flow through us, we cannot do it in our own strength. Loving the unlovable is very difficult but God tells us to love our enemies and be kind to those who persecute us. Even when they hurt us? Yes, I have always told my children to kill them with kindness and love them in the Lord. Forgive them and pray for them. You cannot hate and love at the same time. You cannot speak unkindly of and pray for them at the same time.
So when you have these feelings I suggest you ask the Lord to show you how to love them and then start praying for them right away. It is amazing the way you will start to view those strained relationships and even more amazing how they will begin to change. It has been said that the church is guilty of wounding its own soldiers. How this must grieve the Lord and in turn cause us to be ineffective for the cause of Christ. Decide now to WORK on the relationships in your life beginning with Christ followed by those you love the most and then extended family and friends. Can you imagine the impact we as Godly wives and mothers and young women can have on a lost world if we choose to truly love the unlovely, be kind to those who hurt us and pray for our enemies. Believe me it is worth the effort and God will receive the Glory!

PS Remember it is imperative that you do your part to heal and mend broken family relationships. It is not a choice it is a command. Allow Jesus to love them through you. Ask forgiveness and forgive 70 x70. This effort on your part can be life changing for all those involved and may even change the course of generations to come and their eternal destiny!

Children of Godly Character

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a few weeks. We were on vacation in the mountains and it was wonderful,cool,restful and just plain FUN! Thank you Lord for the Peaceful beauty you created.

This is a topic that is and has always been close to my heart! It grieves my heart to see parents get so caught up in making sure their children become academic scholars that they neglect their character. Now here me out ,I am not at all saying that it isn't important to grow academically, I am just saying that it is a small part of a much larger plan for their lives. Building Godly character is more important for us as parents to focus on. Building character does not JUST HAPPEN!
It is not acquired by osmosis or by hanging around the right people. Godly character is not crafted by going to church regularly or even by memorizing Bible verses. Your child's character traits have to be carefully constructed and cultivated purposefully in efforts of developing the godly character that will make your child truly great in the eyes of God.
As parents we are concerned about the food that our children eat. We know that good nutrition equals a healthier body. And the same is true when it comes to food for their character. By "feeding" your child a steady and consistent diet of good and godly character ,emulating books that expose them to a variety of different character building adventures in the material they read, you are ensuring that your child's sense of right and wrong will be fed and allowed to flourish.
I am often asked "What did you do right to have all of your children love and serve the Lord?" Well first I am careful to give the Lord all the glorify because I am just the tool made available to do His work. Godly character has always been at the heart of my child training.
It has always been a purposeful act that took priority in my everyday life as a mother. I would often read good books that were very helpful but more than anything I would read Gods word and teach His character traits of a women and or man after His own heart! This often meant limiting TV, computers and reading material that didn't exude godly character. "Junk in Junk out" We are responsible for guarding their hearts when they are under our protection. Keeping the world and its negative character traits away from penetrating the hearts of these precious lives is a responsibility we must take very seriously as their parents. Seek His wisdom and guidance for we cannot do it in our own strength but if it is the desire of your heart for your children He will provide the tools and strength if you will make yourself available! My prayer is that the Lord will raise up parents across this nation to this all consuming task of raising up mighty men and women of GOD to do His work!
It is a purposeful and planned task that must be a priority in our lives in order for the next generation to be the Godly men and women the Lord so desires. Will we accept this call from the Lord and do our part? Thank you Lord for the JOY of training our children in Your Ways.

Jesus Loves the Little Children

Children truly are a "gift from the Lord" a prized possession. As parents we are called to "build up our sons and daughters" We are to lay a foundation of faith, nurturing and undergirding them with prayer and then polishing them with the teachings of Gods word. Children are sensitive and pliable-open to the gospel. They are fresh and energetic with years of service to offer Gods kingdom. Children are the most valued fruit of the kingdom, when we devalue them we cross swords with the Almighty. It is hard to fathom why everyone doesn't long to have such
prized possessions in their care? I believe we have replaced the blessing of children with the temporary things of this world.
It breaks my heart that in this day and time children are often seen as a burden instead of a blessing. They are placed in facilities to be raised by strangers in place of a mother and father. They are so many times treated like animals instead of the precious lives they are. I truly believe that there will be great judgement on our land as to how we have devalued children before and after their birth. My husband has always said that I would have had a dozen more if I could. This is because I see each child as a unique individual, created by God , a gift and reward from the Lord. I have always felt privileged that He would entrust me with such a precious gift. As I think of my children I am reminded of all the many children without loving parents and a family to call their own. I was thinking today how overjoyed our Lord would be to look out into our church congregation's and see children of all different colors and ethnic backgrounds. A church body sprinkled with salt and pepper, black and white, red and yellow. Oh how this would season our lives and glorify our Lord. He has called us, the body of Christ, to care for the many orphans in our land today. I believe it would unite us as believers ,despite our differences of race and religion, if we would all join in this gallant effort to adopt and love the fatherless. Thank you Lord for adopting us into your family. My heart is so full just thinking about it and the difference we could make in so many lives if we would be open to this great need. May we all be in an attitude of prayer as we seek His will for our lives in this area. Will you receive Gods gift of children and commit to raise them in the love and admonition of the Lord? If so, you will be blessed beyond measure and your rewards eternal. Thank you Lord for our adopted grandson James and the wonderful seasoning he has added to our lives.